


Family Lessons

by Ilovethings_somuch



Category: Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-03-02 13:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13318980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovethings_somuch/pseuds/Ilovethings_somuch
Summary: Sequal to Private Lessons (if you have not read that I suggest you do that before continuing with this story)Chris and Elaina have been married for almost two years when their first child arrives. This new addition to the family is the greatest gift they could want, but learning to be a family is always something that takes a little work. Especially when ghosts from the past want to make it even harder.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the full first chapter of Family Lessons! I will try to post updates weekly, and as always I hope you enjoy and I love feedback!

Chris and I decided it would be best to be close to family when the baby arrived so as soon as Lukas finished the school year, we moved semi-permanently into our house outside of Boston. Lisa and my mom became fast friends after the wedding and both of them have been incredibly helpful with getting our home ready for the new arrival. My mom drives in whenever she can, though sometimes I’m convinced she’s more excited to hang out with Lisa than me.

Lukas was ecstatic when we told him he was going to be an older brother. He was convinced he was going to have a little brother, but when the ultrasound showed a baby girl he was even more excited. Nine months of pregnancy flew by. Or at least, that’s what it felt like once our little girl made her appearance. It was dramatic, happening the one day I convinced Chris to take Lukas out for some boy time, and from that moment I knew Chris and I would have our hands full. Never the less, we couldn’t have been more blessed with such a healthy and beautiful baby girl.

“She’s perfect” Chris whispers while brushing a kiss along my forehead. “You’re perfect my angel,” he repeats while he tucks the blanket around her chin.

“She is, isn’t she?” I snuggle in closer to Chris and close my eyes, the long labor finally taking its toll on me. But it seems like my eyes are only closed for a second when there’s a knock on the door followed by my parents, Lisa, and Lukas filing into the room. My mom is crying before she even sees the baby and my dad is sniffling back his own tears as he tries to comfort her.

“Mom, do you want to hold her?” I ask and she practically runs to my bedside.

“She’s so small, oh look at her little hands” She comments as she rocks the baby in her arms.

“Yeah, well she didn’t feel that way coming out” I mumble, causing everyone to laugh.

“Are you guys ready to hear her name?” I ask and look to Chris. We decided we would share the sex of our baby when we found out so that people wouldn’t have to worry about gender neutral baby shower gifts, but we were able to keep the name a secret until now. Though, that’s partially because we had a rather hard time coming to an agreement on a name. Chris was painfully set on wanting to pick a name related to Disney, but the thought of having a Belle or Ariel running around my house was not appealing. We spent hours agonizing over names. After some tough negotiating and a little help from Google, we finally decided on a name.

“Amira Isabel Evans” Chris proudly announces. A series of coos go around the room and everyone waits patiently for their turn to hold her. Chris helps Lukas sit on the bed and he snuggles in between us.

“Were you good for your grandparents?” Chris asks.

“I’m always good” Lukas reassures us before changing the subject. “Does my baby sister get to come home tonight?”

“Not tonight. The doctors want me and Amira to stay one night so they can make sure she’s perfectly healthy before we go home.” I explain gently.

“Does that mean I have to stay at Grandma’s tonight?”

“Don’t make it sound like such a chore,” I tease and tickle his sides. “I thought you liked staying with Grandma Lisa”

“I do, but I thought you’d come home today” he shrugs and lays back into the pillows.

“I’m sorry buddy, but hey you can stay here all day and then Daddy can take you over to Grandma’s around bedtime, how does that sound?” he nods enthusiastically and slides off the bed to go bounce around everyone’s feet, trying to get a peek at Amira.

Everyone had a long night with sitting around the waiting room through my labor, so it doesn’t take long for the room to clear out. My parents promised to visit us again over the weekend and I knew Lisa would be around to help out with Lukas when she could. I’m able to get a couple hours nap in while Amira and Chris have skin to skin time. Lukas amazes me as always, his ability to be so calm and quiet after such an eventful day is especially appreciated today. Though it may have helped that Lisa bought him a new coloring book last night.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The night goes smoothly, though I have to wake up every couple hours to feed Amria. She sleeps soundly the hours in between and Chris is sweet enough to wake up and talk with me while she eats. 

The doctor comes in one more time during her rounds. “You and Amira are both on track to go home today. If you’d feel more comfortable you’re welcome to stay one more night, but otherwise, you’re free to leave anytime this morning” my doctor tells me after looking her over. 

“No, I think we’re ready to go home. Thank you so much” I thank her again and she nods graciously before leaving.

“We can pick up Lukas on our way home” Chris suggests and I nod my agreement while moving to get out of bed.

“I think I forgot how my legs work” I contemplate at the edge of the bed.

“Oh yeah? Maybe you do need to stay another night” Chris teases and I shoot him a glare. “Okay, here” he holds out his arms for me to hold onto as I slide out of the bed and get my bearings again. “Good?”

“Decent,” I look up to meet his eyes before going on my toes to kiss him. “There, now I’m good,” I say as I brush past his arms to grab my change of clothes. Chris stares incredulously after me and I can’t help but laugh.

“You know, you could just ask if you wanted a kiss”

“Why would I do that when I can practice my acting skills at any given moment” I tease and he cracks a smile. “I would like another kiss though” I add making Chris laugh as he crosses the room and pulls me against him.

“Does that mean you didn’t mean it when you said we could never have sex again?” he asks and I groan at the memory.

“Undecided, all I asked for was a kiss” He grins again before leaning down to press his lips against mine. He starts to stand back up after a moment but a hand on his neck keeps him in place as I deepen the kiss, only to have a small squawk from Amira ruin it. We both jump a little as we break apart before we both laugh at our reaction.

“You get dressed, I’ll get the baby,” Chris tells me. I nod and sneak in one more kiss before we set about getting ready to leave.

The ride home along with the stop to pick up Lukas takes close to an hour. By the time we get home Amira is ready to eat again and I am ready for a nap. Chris takes Lukas into the kitchen to make lunch while I take Amira up to the nursery. She latches quickly and nurses for a while before she drifts back to sleep. I lay her in the crib and turn on the baby monitor before making my way through the house to find Chris and Lukas.

“Momma, Daddy made you a sandwich,” Lukas tells me as I enter the kitchen.

“You’re a godsend, thank you” I greet Chris with a kiss before grabbing my sandwich and sitting down next to Lukas. “Did you have fun at Grandma’s?”

“Yeah, we got to watch Trolls!”

“Oh that’s fun, did you like it?”

“I loved it. I think Daddy needs to watch it too”

“And why’s that?” Chris asks.

“Because they sing everything, just like you!”

“Just like me, huh? Just like me” Chris picks Lukas up and tickles him. “You make it sound like a bad thing!”

“No,” Lukas says between his laughs, “it’s a good thing!”

“Oh good,” Chris says with a sigh when he sets Lukas back in his chair, “I thought we were gonna have a problem for a minute there”

Lukas goes to say something back to his father when we all hear Amira’s cries come through the baby monitor. “Oops, that was my fault wasn’t it?” Chris asks and I nod. “I’ll get her” he volunteers, leaving me and Lukas to finish our lunch.

Chris is able to rock the baby back to sleep and we all retire to the living room for a lazy afternoon. I end up falling asleep on Chris’s lap and wake again sometime around dinner.

“There she is,” Chris coos as I wake up. “Yeah, there’s your Momma.” He’s got Amira tucked into his arms and she’s looking around happily, even if her eyes aren’t able to actually focus on anything yet. Lukas is busy playing with his train set across the room and only looks up for a moment when he hears that I’m awake.

“Oh is it dinner time?” I ask as Chris hands her over to me.

“I told my sisters they could stop in and see her tonight if that’s okay with you. They said they would bring dinner too”

“That’s fine, double yes for food” He chuckles at my comment while he texts them to confirm.

It’s not long after that they arrive bearing gifts and food.

“I hope pizza is okay,” Carley says as she sets it on the counter.

“Pizza is perfect,” I assure her with a hug. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“Are you kidding? Of course we’re here. Mom wouldn’t even tell us her name let alone show us a picture. I just hope it isn’t too much for you. If you feel stressed don’t feel bad to kick us out”

“No, no it’s good to have company. We’ve just been bumming around all day anyway”

“And by bumming around she means sleeping” Chris interrupts as he reaches past me for a slice of pizza. I elbow him in the side and he grins around his bite before giving me a tight squeeze. “Not that she doesn’t deserve it”

“Damn right I deserve it” I shrug and he presses a smacking kiss to my cheek.

“You two are like an old married couple already, I love it” Shanna laughs.

“Oh, we brought gifts, open them!” Carley reminds us and pushed a couple bags towards us.

“Guys, you didn’t have to do that. You already got us gifts for the baby shower!”

“I know. But those were baby gifts, these are Momma gifts” Carley winks and suddenly I’m afraid to open them. “Oh don’t give me that look. Just open them!”

I look to Chris and he shrugs so I peek inside the first bag to find a couple bottles of wine and a pair of glasses that say “Mommy juice” and “Daddy juice” in another bag.

“Thank you, guys, these are so cute!”

“Of course! Now, where’s my niece?” Shanna asks and Carley nods along to the question.

“This way” I motion them to follow me to the pack and play that’s set up in the living room where Amira is currently sleeping. She whines a little when I pick her up but as soon as she’s in Shanna’s arms she goes right back to sleep.

“She’s so beautiful,” Carley whispers.

“You did good Momma” Shanna agrees with a wink.

“I don’t know, have you seen her father?” I joke.

“I have, which is why I’m saying you’re the one who did good” Shanna quips and I have to walk away before my laughing wakes the baby.

“What’s so funny?” Chris asks as he walks in.

“Shanna and Elaina are swapping birth stories,” Carley says on a dime and I lose it.

“Yup, I’m out” Chris raises his arms and walks back to the kitchen.

“You two are trouble” I point to them and they just smile innocently back.

“Are you going to tell us her name?” Carley asks.

“Oh! Yes, sorry. Amira”

“Amira, how pretty. How did you convince him to get away from the Disney names? “

“Her middle name is Isabel, so he kind of got Belle, but it’s spelled differently. We compromised,” I laugh, “also, Amira means Princess, so if you’re going on technicalities, she’s Princess Belle.”

Carley and Shanna both chuckle at my explanation, “It’s really pretty, Amira Isabel” Carley croons just in time for her to open her eyes. “Oh, good morning sweetheart. Shanna, look at her eyes”

“Oh, she has Chris’s eyes.”

“Aren’t they perfect? I just hope they stay blue. The doctor said they might change as she gets older.”

Carley and Shanna stay until dark before heading back home. Chris gets Lukas in the bath and into bed before they leave so all that’s left to do before bed is put away leftovers and feed Amira. Chris handles the kitchen and meets me in the nursery when he’s done. He leans in the doorway and watches me rock Amira while she eats.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Are you just going to stand there?” I ask after a moment and he grins before crossing the room to sit on the floor next to me. “Maybe we should invest in another glider” I tease.

“That’s okay, I don’t mind” He assures me and moves my feet so one is on his lap while he massages the other one. “Today was a good first day home”

“Today was a perfect first day home” I agree and he smiles up at me, though it doesn’t meet his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I ask and as he hesitates my brain runs through every possible thing this could mean.

“Nothing, everything’s perfect.”

“Chris” I say in my warning tone and he deflates a little.

“Really, she’s healthy and you’re healthy and we’re happy…” he trails off. “We are happy, right?” My heart threatens to break as I realize what this is about. 

“Chris, I’m not her. I’m so unbelievably happy, okay? I’m not going anywhere” I reach one hand down to him and he takes it quickly and leans his head against our hands. “I’m not going anywhere”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fluffy, but also a little bit stressful. I wouldn’t say it’s angst, but there are some troubles coming their way. Your responses to the last chapter were so wonderful and I hope you all like where this story goes :)

The first few months with Amira were beyond perfect. Sure there were sleepless nights and a few general bumps in the road, but every day I was reminded why I fell in love with Chris and Lukas and every day they amazed me even more. Lukas was such a good big brother and watching Chris get wrapped around Mira’s little finger made my heart swell. Chris’s insecurities also seemed to fade with each passing day and before long he was back to his playful, perky self.

Moving back to the east coast was definitely the best decision we could’ve made. Even though Chris and I weren’t working for a while, there were still times where we needed a break. Having Chris’s and my family so close and so willing to help out when they could, was the most wonderful thing we could’ve asked for. My older brother, Xavier, has two kids with his wife who get along great with Lukas, and are a little closer to his age than his cousins on Chris’s side of the family. Even our family members without kids of their own are always willing to help out when they can. Scott loves to take Lukas for the day, and my sister Jazz always jumps on an opportunity to look after Amira.

While Chris and I both very much enjoyed the time off after Amira was born, we were also both eager to get back to doing what we loved. Chris had scheduled a break between films once I hit my third trimester, but by the time Amira was 6 months old and Lukas had started back to school we both knew it was time for us to get back into working. Chris had his agent send us a bunch of scripts, some were looking for him to act, some for me to act, and others for him to direct. All were shooting on the east coast. Even though we wanted to get back to work, we knew baby steps would be important for this transition.

Chris found a script in the directing pile that he liked and scheduled a meeting to try to finalize things a could weeks later in New York City. The plan was to fly there Monday morning for an afternoon meeting and then fly back late Monday night.

Everything was going according to plan. He drove himself to the airport while I took Lukas to school. By the time I got home and Amira had her morning bottle, he had texted me that he landed safely. Amira took a morning nap while I cleaned the house. Having a quiet house was different, but it made me more productive than I had been in a long time. Chris called me before his meeting for one last “good luck” and “I love you”. I fed Amira lunch and gave her a bath before he called me again after his meeting while he was in the cab on the way to an early dinner with some friends. He boasted about how great the meeting went and how excited he was to tell me more when he got home. I told him how proud I was and how I couldn’t wait to hear all about it. I drove to pick up Lukas from school and took him to soccer practice. Amira and I went for a walk while Lukas was practicing, enjoying the last few days of nice weather before the autumn air got too cold. He texted me when he was boarding the plane, while I was making dinner. By the time dinner was done and Lukas was showered and ready for bed, Chris had landed and called to tell Lukas goodnight before he drove home.

It shouldn’t have been more than a 30 minute drive, but when 30 minutes turned into an hour I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t stop myself from pacing across the living room, waiting for the flash of his headlights as he turned into the driveway or the light rumble of his tires on the gravel. I tried calling his phone but it kept going to voicemail, and I kept telling myself that he was just being safe and not checking his phone while driving. When an hour and a half came and went I decided I should at least call Lisa to see if he stopped there before I filed a missing person report. Just as I unlocked my phone to dial her number I received a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Elaina Evans?”

“Yes,”

“Hi, this is Maggie Cooper I’m calling from the Massachusetts General Hospital. Your husband, Chris, recently came in. He was involved in a car accident.”

“Oh god, is he okay? Please tell me he’s okay?” my voice shakes as I wait for her reply, trying to hold back the tears.

“All I can say right now is that he’s stable and set to make a full recovery, but you’ll need to come in and talk to the doctor before he can go home”

“Yes, yes, of course, I’ll be there as soon as possible.” I’m already throwing a bag together to take Lukas and Amira to Lisa’s before I even end the call. I dial Lisa as soon as I hang up from the hospital, she’s able to help calm me down, which is a good thing before I drive anywhere. She insists that it’s better for the kids to stay home and in bed and that she’ll come stay with them until Chris and I get home. It doesn’t take her long to arrive, but it feels like hours when I know Chris is at the hospital waiting for me.

I finally make it out of the house and take the short drive to the hospital. When I arrive the nurses are quick to help me find the right room.

“Mr. Evans, you have a visitor” the nurse chimes as she leads me into the room.

“Laina” he sighs as if he finally let out a breath he’s been holding for days. My resolve crumbles as I take in his injuries and I feel tears being to roll down my cheeks. His left arm is in a sling and cuts and bruises are scattered across his temple and cheek. He holds his right hand out for me and I rush to his side and take his hand in mine.

“You scared me” I whisper as he leans his forehead to rest against mine.

“I’m so sorry” he whispers back and I can tell by the shake in his voice that he’s crying too.

“I’ll give you two some time. Press the call button if you need anything or when you’re ready for the doctor to talk to the both of you” the nurse tells us gently before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

I lean back from Chris and sit on the edge of the bed next to him, “what happened? You are okay, right?”

“I’m fine, Lainie, I promise,” he brings his thumb up to wipe a stray tear from my cheek before continuing. “There was a drunk driver. He ran a red light and T-boned the driver’s side of the car. I just got shaken around a bit, hit my head and my arm got jammed against the door. It’s not broken, they just put the sling on to keep the ice in place.” I nod my understand though there’s still a steady trickle of tears falling down my cheeks. “The car’s totaled though” he mumbles as an afterthought. The casual and slightly embarrassed tone he used makes me smile and he smiles widely back at me. “There’s the smile I love. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“No, please don’t apologize. This wasn’t your fault,” I try to assure him, while I take his hand in mine and press a kiss to his knuckles. “I was just so worried when they called and they couldn’t tell me anything,” talking about it makes my tears start to come faster again and before I can continue Chris uses his free arm to hug me against his chest.

We spend some time just taking each other in before we’re both calm enough to talk to the doctor. He explains to us the extent of Chris’s injuries and how we should go about care for the next couple weeks. The worst of it is his concussion which basically means he isn’t allowed to do anything too taxing next couple days. They said that the bruising and soreness in his arm will subside in the next week or so, but it should be iced as much as possible. Other than that they prescribed him some pain medication and sent us on our way.

By the time we get home it’s well past midnight. We find Lisa still awake, watching tv in the living room. The kids are still sleeping, blissfully unaware of the events that took place this evening. After telling Lisa about the accident and she fusses over Chris she heads home to sleep, leaving with intentions to stop by and help the next couple days.

Even with the full day of traveling for Chris and the amount of an adrenaline rush I went through tonight, neither of us are anywhere near ready to sleep as we get in bed. Laying in bed wrapped gently around each other we alternated between comfortable silence and random topics of conversation.

As time passed our random topics got heavier until Chris mumbled, “Laina, I want you to adopt Lukas.”

“What?” I pick my head up to look at him and backtrack when I see the sort of disappointed look in his eyes. “I don’t mean that I don’t want to, but why?”

“What happened tonight really scared me, and if anything happens you’re his mom. Without a doubt, you’re his mom, but I need it to say so legally.”

“Nothing’s gonna happen,” I tell him, though my voice shakes at the possibility.

“I’m not saying anything is,” he cups my cheek and kisses me gently before continuing. “You’re right. Nothing is going to happen, but I still want you to legally be his mother”

“Okay,” I nod and give him a small smile.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, he’s already my son, of course, I want to adopt him”

“God, I love you,” he says before crashing his mouth to mine.


	3. Chapter 3

Saying I was going to adopt Lukas is a lot easier said than done. Neither of us had any idea how much legal stuff was ahead of us when we decided to do the adoption. The main problem quickly comes down to the fact that Lukas’s birth mother, Lauren, never renounced her rights as his mother when she left. Her silence in Lukas’s life has always seemed like a sort of blessing since I came into their lives, but with the complete lack of contact that happened after she left, we don’t even know where to start to find her.

Chris sets his legal team on the task of finding her, and we do what we can with trying to contact old mutual friends and such. We did everything we could think of to track down Lauren. Eventually, it seemed like all hope was lost and Chris and I decided it was time to go on with life as normal. Even though I couldn’t officially adopt Lukas without Lauren’s consent, there were other ways we could go about making sure that were anything to happen, I would have at least some say in Lukas’ life afterward. We started setting up meetings to work everything out in our wills so that I would have as much control as possible, but even with that security, it made me incredibly nervous about the future.

When we did everything we could think of, and Chris was back to being fully functional after the accident, we decided it was time to focus on the both of us getting back to work. Chris did, in fact, have a really good meeting when he went to New York. The producer and screenwriter were so impressed with his pitch that they were even willing to push the original timeline for casting and shooting until Chris was ready. Chris waited until everything was settled before telling me that part of his pitch involved giving me the lead. I would’ve punched him, but I loved the script just as much as he did so really how could I refuse? Plus, having your husband be your director for your first movie back after having a baby really seemed like the best possibility.

On the downside, both of us going back to work at the same time meant that we would need to find a nanny.

We started interviewing people as soon as we came to the conclusion that it would be impossible to depend on family to deal with the crazy schedules that come with filming. After only a couple interviews we found the perfect person. Plenty of experience, willing to work with our schedules, and very kind-hearted. Once Chris and I decided that Emily was a good fit on our terms, we set up a day where she would hang out with us and get to know Lukas as well as see what sort of parenting techniques we use. Lukas was hesitant at first, he wasn’t opposed to nannies, after all, he spent a lot of time with his nanny, Andi, when it was just him and Chris in LA. However, he also knew that a nanny meant he wouldn’t be with me and Chris. Even with that in mind, it didn’t take long for Lukas to open up to Emily. Amira has been around so many people these first few months of her life that she happy with just about anyone, though I will say she has a special smile whenever her dad walks through the door.

Hearing about Emily’s experience with kids and seeing it first hand made all the difference for me. I went into the day expecting to be nervous about leaving the kids with her and planning on how I could be home as often as possible, to feeling completely at ease with her abilities and trusting that they are in safe and caring hands while Chris and I are away. We still plan on having our family watch Lukas and Amira when they are willing, but at the same time, we don’t want to expect too much from them. All in all, hiring a nanny was the best choice, and Emily put all my doubts to rest.

After spending the day getting Emily and the kids adjusted, Chris and I were finally ready to start finalizing casting and setting up dates for shooting. The casting director and producers already started auditions to start narrowing it down before Chris came in. They were able to narrow it down to seven to ten people for each part that was left to fill. This meant that once Chris was ready to focus, he had a much easier task ahead of him. It wasn’t long before I was called in to run a few lines with the part of my love interest for a chemistry read and not long after that they had decided to go with an up and coming actor named Jonathan. It seemed like after they picked him, all the other parts seem to fall into place. With only a few last checks for locations, sets, and dates left to do, Chris and I decided to take the kids out to dinner to celebrate all the new milestones in the movie.

“Why are we going out to dinner?” Lukas pipes up from the back seat.

“Because your dad made a very big decision on his movie today, so we’re celebrating”

“Isn’t it your movie too?”

“Sort of, but it’s mostly his, I just get to be in it,” I tell Lukas, sending him a wink from the front seat.

“Your mom is being modest, it’s just as much her movie as it is mine”

“You guys don’t need to get all mushy, I was just asking a question” Lukas reminds us, his casual tone making Chris and I crack up.

“Sorry bud, I’ll make sure to tone down the mushiness for you,” Chris tells him and Lukas nods his approval.

Lukas appetite seems to be getting pickier by the hour. He went from always clearing his plate and happily eating his vegetables to barely touching his food no matter what we give him. Chris assures me that he went through a phase like that too when he was little and that he’ll get over it soon enough, but I still worry he isn’t getting enough to eat. Nonetheless, he seems to enjoy this restaurant and eats almost all of his food. Chris seems to notice as well and nudges my arm before nodding at Lukas as he munches on his last couple fries.

“Someone was hungry” I comment.

“I like french fries” Lukas shrugs.

“Unfortunately, you can’t only eat french fries.”

“But my teacher said that you can live on only potatoes, and french fries are made of potatoes, right?”

“They are, and you can, but I’m not going to let you only eat french fries for the rest of your life” I try to tell him gently, but he pouts anyways. Amira, on the other hand, has started eating baby food and loves it! She’s become quite the little chunky monkey, but her cheeks are cute enough that it doesn’t even matter. Chris fed her before we left so now she’s content to just hang out in her high chair and babble along to our conversations.

After dinner, we decide to watch a movie and let Lukas stay up a little later since it’s the first Friday in a while that he doesn’t have a soccer game the next day. Lukas picks the latest Pixar movie and we all snuggle into the couch to watch it. Amira falls asleep in Chris’ arms not long after the movie starts. He takes some time to enjoy cuddling with her before he gets up to put her in her crib for the night. When he returns I take over Amira’s spot and cuddle into Chris’ side while Dodger curls up next to Lukas.

When the movie is nearing it’s close I notice Chris checking his phone a couple times.

“Is everything okay?” I ask when I notice the serious look he has on his face. As he meets my eyes his features soften immediately and he gives me a gentle smile.

“Everything’s fine,” he assures me before kissing my forehead. I decide to let it go for the time being and return my attention to the cartoon.

Once the movie is over and Lukas is asleep in bed I follow the summoning of my own bed calling out to me. I brush my teeth quickly before crawling under the covers. I would’ve fallen asleep right then, but the sudden thought of Chris’ face when he was looking at his phone earlier ruins any chance of that. I sit up straight in bed and wait for Chris to join me.

When he comes in he gives me a tired smile and a small kiss before he slides down in the bed. I watch his brows furrow in confusion when I don’t follow suit, “what’s wrong?”

“Who were you talking to earlier?”

“It was just people from the movie,” the lie would’ve passed easily if he would’ve been talking to anyone else, but I knew him too well.

“Oh, Mike or Caleb?” I squint at him and he caves.

“I was going to talk to you about it tomorrow.”

“Can we talk about it now?”

“Okay,” he sighs as he sits back up and faces me. He takes both my hands in his before he continues talking. “It was Scott, he was able to find an old mutual friend of Laurens. They found her,”

“Oh,” is all I can say. A mixture of happiness and anxiety sets off inside me, “that’s good, right?”

“It would be,” he starts.

“Why would?”

“She’s refusing.”

“Refusing what?”

“To give up her rights,” he whispers and I can see the fear in his eyes.

“They asked her already? I thought the lawyers were going to do that, you know, explain everything gently.”

“Apparently Scott told her friend, trying to convince them to help us find her, and she told Lauren before anyone on our side could get to her.”

“Shit,” I sigh and lean into Chris’ chest. “But we can find her now at least, right? Maybe if we can talk to her she’ll change her mind.”

“I’m not sure of anything right now,” he takes a deep breath to try and control his emotions while he wraps his arms tightly around me. “Why would she want to keep her rights? She left him, Laina, she left us, not the other way around,” tears spring up in Chris’ eyes and start running down his cheeks as I hold him.

“I know, baby, I know.” Eventually, my own emotions start welling up, and before I know it we’re both just holding each other as we cry. I can’t help but think about how tonight was supposed to be a celebration, but instead, we’re getting the worst news we could imagine. When both of us are cried out we end up laying down, cuddled as close together as we can get. “Even if she doesn’t change her mind, we still have our back up plan,” I mention in hopes of setting us both at ease.

“I know,” he kisses my head and squeezes his arms a little tighter. “I just hope she doesn’t try to come back into his life. I don’t think he could handle getting her back and losing her again, not now that he’s older.”

I nod my agreement and tuck my head under his chin to pepper kisses along his collarbone. “We’re gonna get through this,” I whisper.

“We always do,” he agrees.


	4. Chapter 4

Even though the drama with Lauren is putting me and Chris on edge, we have to get started on filming. Most of our small-scale filming is happening right in Boston so that we could be close to home and all in all we’re only filming for about a month and a half.

“Emily’s gonna pick you up from school, okay Lukas?”

“Again?” he whines. It’s only three times this week, but even when I’m able to be home, Chris isn’t.

“I’m sorry, buddy. It’s just a couple more weeks.”

“Why can’t I go to Grandma’s?”

“Grandma’s busy this week, we talked about it remember?”

“I know.”

“But hey, Daddy and I are both gonna be home for dinner tonight okay?” I try to cheer him up.

“Promise?” he squints at me.

“Pinky promise,” I wink at him and he wraps his pinky finger around mine before giving me a hug and running off to find his friends on the playground.

Even though he always has fun with Emily I know he misses having his parents around. I’m able to be home more often since filming is so close and I’m not needed all the time. The movie is a mix of intertwining stories, so even though I’m one of the leads, I’m still only on screen about a third of the time. Having Chris be the director has been amazing in many ways, but one of them is that we’ve been able to block my schedule so that I don’t have to hang out on set all day every day. Chris, on the other hand, has barely been able to get a break. He usually has to leave before Lukas has to be to school and doesn’t get home until right around bedtime. Some days we’re really lucky and Chris has time to tuck Lukas into bed and talk to him a little about his day, but most days it’s a miracle if Chris gets to say goodnight before Lukas is asleep. Tonight is the first night since filming has started that both Chris and I are going to be home for dinner. I know Chris feels bad about being gone so much and I know he’s dying to have some family time again.

Right after dropping Lukas off I take Amira to Carley’s house where she’s staying until Emily picks her up this afternoon. Then it’s time for me to get to set. Luckily my appearance doesn’t have to change too drastically for this role so makeup doesn’t take too long and before I know it I’m changed and ready for my first scene of the day.

I cross paths with a couple of my co-stars along the way and we chat until it’s time to start. Jonathan has become a really good friend since we’ve started and he always does what he can to make sure we get through our scenes on schedule. Even though everyone knows that Chris and I are together, we do our best to separate home and work. We’ve had many discussions about how I should be treated like any other actor and how he should be treated like any other director. So I’m surprised when Chris approaches me before we start filming.

“Elaina, can we talk for a second before we start?” He asks. I nod my agreement and follow him to a quieter part of the set.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“I know this isn’t the best place to talk about this, but it’s about Lauren.”

“Chris, we’re at work, can’t it wait?”

“You know I wouldn’t be doing this right now if we had another choice.”

“Okay, what is it?” I sigh.

“She wants to meet,” he tells me, almost wincing at his own words.

“Wait a second, does this mean you’ve been in contact with her? Chris, we agreed it was either both of us or neither. We have our lawyers for a reason.”

“I didn’t have another choice. She refused to talk to the lawyers and she doesn’t even know you, there’s no way she would’ve opened up to you. If it could’ve been both of us I would’ve done it,” he tells me earnestly and I can’t help but forgive him.

“Who does she want to meet?”

“Everyone, you, Lukas, Amira,”

“No,” I tell him firmly before I start to walk away.

“Lainie, please listen,” he turns me back towards him with a hand on my arm. “You know that I don’t want this any more than you do, but if this one meeting will be enough to convince her to give up her rights, isn’t it worth it?”

“You want to bring her back into Lukas’ life only to rip her away from him again? isn’t that the one thing we decided we couldn’t allow?”

“It is, which is why I was thinking that we would only agree if she promised that she wouldn’t tell Lukas who she was.”

“I don’t know. I need to think about it.” I hold my temples, feeling a headache setting in. “Why did we have to have this conversation now?”

“She wants to meet tonight.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Lainie.”

“Don’t ‘Lainie’ me right now. You’ve barely seen your kids the past couple weeks. If you invite some stranger into our home the one night I promised Lukas we would be together as a family, it’ll hurt him, Chris. It can’t be tonight.”

“She’s only in town tonight.”

“So then we wait for her to come back in town another time. We fly her in if we have to. It can’t be tonight.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” I breathe, trying to gain control of my emotions.

He pulls me tightly to his chest before speaking, “me too.”

“I just want this to be over. Chris, how am I supposed to have dinner with her? I don’t even know her, but I hate her.”

“If it helps, I do know her and I hate her,” Chris says and I laugh.

“She really can’t come tonight. I don’t know if she can come ever, but you can’t just spring this on me.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he whispers and kisses the top of my head.

“I don’t completely forgive you right now, but we have to get back to work,” I gesture back to where everyone is standing around, waiting. “We can talk about it tonight.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’m somehow able to get through the rest of the day without my own emotions spilling through to my character. Jonathan is always good at making me laugh no matter the situation, so with him and the rest of the team there to help set a light mood, we get through the day only slightly behind schedule.

I’m able to leave set a little before Chris. Hopefully giving me enough to time to at least get dinner started before he gets home. When I get home Lukas is playing in a pile of leaves with Emily while Amira is watching from under a blanket in her stroller and Dodger is running around the yard.

“Mom!” Lukas shouts when he sees me and comes running to hug me. Even after all this time, I get a little ping of pride when he calls me mom.

“Hey! It looks like you guys are having fun.”

“Emily made a huge pile for us to jump in. I wanted Amira to jump in too, but Emily said she was too little,”

“I think Emily’s right about that, but by next year she’ll be able to run and jump with you.”

“That’s what Emily said too. When’s dinner?”

“In a little bit. We gotta wait for Dad though, remember?”

“Of course I remember! When will he be here?”

“Hm, probably in an hour or so. Just long enough for you to get cleaned up and help me start cooking, how does that sound?” he nods happily before running behind me into the house with Dodger close behind him. Emily pushes the stroller over to me so I can see Amira. “Did he finish his homework?” I ask her once we’re close enough.

“Yup, he only had one sheet for math and he assured me he finished all his reading at school.”

“Perfect, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow then?” I confirm.

“Yes, I’ll pick up Lukas from school.”

“Great, have a good night Emily.”

“Thank you, you as well Mrs. Evans,” she tells me before making her exit. No matter how many times I’ve told her to call me Elaina she just won’t do it.

I push the stroller into the garage before taking out Amira to bring her inside. She babbles to me about her day as she plays with my hair. No matter how stressful my day was, I know I can always count on baby chatter to cheer me up. Once we’re inside I plunk her in the high chair to give her some snacks before dinner. Lukas comes down shortly after and I set him to work washing some vegetables. Chris gets home just as we’re putting everything in the oven.

“Daddy!” Lukas shouts when he hears the door open and Dodger barks alongside him.

“My boys!” Chris laughs and bends down to hug Lukas and pet Dodger’s head.

“Dad, Emily made a huge lead pile for us to jump in!”

“Really? Well, that sounds like a lot of fun. You like playing with Emily?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, “but I like it when you’re home better.”

“Me too, buddy” Chris assures him before they make their way back into the kitchen. “Something smells good.”

“I just put it in the oven, it’s gonna be like 40 minutes,” I tell him as he hugs me.

“Perfect,” he tells me, emphasizing the word with a quick peck.

Having dinner as a family for the first time in so long is such a treat. Lukas has a lot to catch me and Chris up on. He tells us about a field trip to the Aquarium that’s coming up, how he got an A+ on his last math test, and how he had to read in front of the class and only messed up once. We’ve been working on his reading a lot lately. When we moved out to Boston we found that the curriculum was a little different and Lukas was a bit behind the other kids in his grade. We were able to get him caught up in most subjects, but the only thing that helps with reading is lots of practice. We started with having him read a couple pages to us every night instead of the other way around. It used to be really hard for him to get through it without getting stuck on words. After a little while, he was able to sound out most words himself and started getting much quicker. Now hearing that he’s completely caught up with his classmates and even confident enough to read in front of the class makes me and Chris extremely proud of him.

“That’s amazing, Lukas!” Chris tells him and ruffles his hair.

“We’re really proud of you buddy.” Lukas smiles down at his plate and I can see the blush creeping up his neck.

Once we finish eating Chris and I clean up the kitchen while Lukas takes a shower and gets ready for bed. By the time we’re done cleaning up Lukas is finished and he has a little time to play with Chris before it’s time for him to go to sleep. They hang out in the living room while I time Amira upstairs to change her diaper and get her pajamas on. She coos up at me while I go about getting her dressed and I realize how much I’ve missed her these past couple weeks. She’s not quite tired enough to go to sleep yet so I take her back downstairs and sit down on the couch to watch as Lukas tells Chris all about how he and Emily have changed the set up of his train set.

Lukas eventually tires himself out from talking so much and Chris takes him upstairs and tucks him in before coming back downstairs to sit by me. Mira reaches for Chris as soon as he sits down and he happily takes her in his arms.

“You’ve missed your daddy haven’t you sweet girl?” I hum before kissing her chubby cheek.

“She’s gotten so big. How did this happen? I’m still home every day, how did I miss so much?”

I sigh and lay my head on his shoulder, “I don’t know. She’s growing so fast, and Lukas is still changing all the time. But it’s only a few more weeks.”

“Until filming is over, we still have post-production and then press,” he starts rambling on. I sit up while he rambles on before I finally shut him up with a kiss.

“And we’ll worry about that when we get there,” I tell him gently. “Don’t stress yourself out, we still have 18 years before this one is out of here.”

“We’ll have longer if we have more,” he smiles cheekily at me.

“And we will,” I kiss him again and he smiles while Amira starts grabbing at both our faces. “But we need to get through this movie first, and maybe through her terrible twos.”

“That’s fair,” he laughs.

“We also need to get through this mess with Lauren,” I mumble, upset with myself for having to bring it up.

“I know,” he breathes. “It’s like she doesn’t understand that what she did was wrong. She keeps saying how she’s his mother and that’s what’s important. Laina, I don’t know how to win this one.”

“We just need to talk it through some more,” I pause to think. “Maybe we can convince her to talk to the lawyer.”

“She won’t. I’ve tried countless times.”

“Why does she even want to meet me?”

“I guess she wants to see who was finally good enough for me to allow into mine and Lukas’ life,” he tells me earnestly.

“Chris,” I start.

“I’m not just being sappy. She does have a right to know who she would be giving her rights to.”

“I guess when you put it like that,” I say after a few moments. “I’ll meet her,” I concede, “but she doesn’t get to come here and she doesn’t get to see Lukas. At least not yet.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is late! hopefully we'll be back on schedule this Friday.

It took a couple weeks to work out the details, but eventually, we figured out plans to meet Lauren. Chris did all of the talking, or emailing, but now that everything was out in the open I was usually involved in what was said. Lauren was due to come back to town the following week, which worked out to be perfect timing with when filming wrapped.

She seemed nice enough in all the emails. She was understanding of our wishes or concerns; even agreeing that it wasn’t in her, or Lukas’s, best interest to meet right now. We made plans to meet at a cafe, just the three of us, to talk about what we wanted to come out of this. To say I was nervous is an understatement, but even my nerves couldn’t compare to how Chris was feeling. He wasn’t able to relax starting over a day before we planned to meet her. He was supposed to work on editing with the crew that day but ended up being sent home by the producers because he got so worked up that he made himself sick.

Even though he wanted to work to try to keep his mind busy, I think being home was best for all of us. Filming officially wrapped, but Chris was still working long hours. Having a day off for Chris and me to be together before we met with Lauren was good to remind us why we’re going through all this. Lukas still had school, but Chris and Amira had some good daddy-daughter time. Even though he forced his body to relax so that he could play with Amira, I could tell that he was still stressing himself out. Once we put Amira down for her afternoon nap I decided to try to help him relax.

I filled the large tub in our master bath with hot water before adding a lavender bath bomb and going to find Chris. I found him in the living room, pacing again. As soon as he saw me he stopped and gave me a soft smile.

“You need to relax,” I tell him gently.

“I know I’m trying I just keep thinking about,” he slowly stops talking as I pull him into a hug. His body relaxes into mine as he wraps his arms around me.

“I have something for you.” I slowly lean away and take his hand to have him follow me upstairs. He seems a little confused as I bypass the bed, but when the lavender filled steam hits his senses he sighs happily. He lets me lead him next to the tub and raises his arms on my signal so that I can help him lift his shirt over his head. He watches me undo his belt and unbutton his jeans. I push his pants along with his briefs down and he steps out of them. I stand on my toes to kiss him before I usher him into the tub. He sinks down into the water with a sigh and I smile while I see him relax. I kiss his forehead once more and turn on some soft music before I start to make my exit.

“Laina,” he says before I can leave.

“Do you need anything else? I can make you a drink,” I suggest but he shakes his head.

“Why aren’t you in this tub right now?” he asks with a straight face and I smile.

“Because you need to relax and-”

“No,” he cuts me off. “Get in the tub.”

I try to come up with some excuse but he continues during my pause, “I don’t want to hear any excuses, get in this tub before I get out and put you in the tub.”

“Okay, okay. Let me move the monitor first.”

“If you aren’t back in 2 minutes I’m coming to find you,” he calls after me.

I smile and shake my head at his antics while making my way downstairs to grab the baby monitor. By the time I get back to the bathroom Chris has his head resting on the back of the tub and his eyes are closed. I think he’s asleep for a second so I start to backtrack out the door, but he holds up a finger and his eyes snap open before I get there.

“I was timing you, hurry up it’s going to get cold.”

I undressed quickly and Chris sat up a little so I could sit in front of him. He pulled me against him, so my back was tight against his chest, and rested his chin on my shoulder. He pressed a few random kisses to my shoulder and the back of my neck.

“I thought I was the one pampering you, how did this happen?” I ask with a smile.

“I can feel the tension in your shoulders, I think we both could use the pampering.”

I turn my head to meet him in a kiss and he quickly deepens in as he turns me around to face him. Things get heavy pretty quickly and before I know it Chris is standing up in the tub to take us to the bedroom. Unfortunately, just as we lay down we hear Amira squawking over the baby monitor. Chris drops his head against my neck and sighs. I run my hand up his back and push my fingers through his hair.

“Do you think she’ll fall back to sleep?” he asks since it’s been quiet for a few moments. But just as I’m about to respond she lets out a full cry.

“I think that’s a no. I’m sorry, baby.”

He shrugs and rolls off me. I scramble to get some clothes on so I can go get Amira and stop her crying. Chris sits up and watches me get dressed but doesn’t make any move to do the same. Once I’m dressed I move to stand between his legs and pull his head up so he’s looking at me.

“We can finish tonight, okay? I promise, but I need you right now. Do you need to take a cold shower or something?” I suggest, anything to get him moving again.

“No, I’m good.” He stands up and gives me another quick kiss before moving towards the closet.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chris seemed to perk up a bit once he’s had some coffee and once Lukas got home. We did pick up our earlier activities once the kids went to sleep. It was a good way to relieve stress for both of us, but more than that it felt good to feel so close to him again. All the stress of dealing with Lauren and getting back to work, plus getting in the right rhythm with Amira has taken its toll on our relationship. Not that we’re in a bad place, but I think we both want to get back to how things were before everything got so hard.

It was also good for tiring us both out. We knew we would need a good night’s sleep to prepare for tomorrow, but that isn’t always easy when you have so much to worry about. But with our bodies tired, it didn’t take too long for both of us to fall into a deep sleep.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We were supposed to meet Lauren around 11 for brunch. We took the kids to Lisa’s house before heading to the cafe. The grip Chris had on my hand only got stronger the closer we got. Once we parked I took my seatbelt off only to find Chris making no move to get out.

“Chris,” he looks at me and I put my hand on his cheek. “Are you ready?”

He takes a deep breath before nodding and opening his door. He takes my hand as soon as we’re both out and practically marches towards the door. We don’t see Lauren when we get there so we both order at the counter before taking a seat. Chris is fidgeting with his coffee cup and shaking his leg something awful while watching the door for her to arrive. I’m doing my best to stay calm, for the both of us. The bell above the door rings as it opens and Chris gives me a nudge while nodding in that direction. I stand up with Chris before looking at the women who left Chris and Lukas. My stomach plummets as I take her in. She’s gorgeous. Blonde hair, long legs, perfect cheekbones, and eyes that make me question if Lukas really got his from his dad. She flashes a smile of perfect white teeth and I can’t help but feel undeserving of the man standing next to me.

“You must be Elaina, it really is lovely to meet you,” she shakes my hand before turning to Chris. “Chris, it’s good to see you again. You know I’ve missed you.”

“Hi Lauren,” he says awkwardly, though it seems most of his anxiety has either disappeared or been brushed away with his acting skills. “We ordered already. Do you want to go get something and then we can talk?”

She agrees happily and Chris and I sit back down. Now I’m the one shaking with nervous while Chris is cool as a statue. She doesn’t take long to return and we get right to business. Lauren asks a lot of questions about how we met and how Lukas acts with me. She seems hurt that Lukas treats me as though I’m his real mom, and an awful part of me is glad to see her feel that way. By the time we get around to asking why she won’t give up rights she seems to shut down and won’t answer us.

“This was a lot for one day, don’t you think? Listen, I’m going to be in town for a couple weeks, with the holidays coming up and everything, do you think we could pick this up another day?” She barely gives us time to react before she’s picking up her coat and her bag. “It really was lovely to meet you, Elaina, you guys seem really great together. We’ll be in touch to set up another time to meet. Take care,” and she left.

Chris and I sat there dumbfounded for a few moments before looking at each other. As the realization of what just happened set in, I got mad. The whole purpose of this meeting was to discuss why she won’t give up her rights, but she got us so sidetracked on talking about our personal lives that we didn’t even get to the questions.

“I feel like we just got played, but I’m not exactly sure what she took,” I say to Chris.

“She got information.”

“What do you mean?”

“She got to know you, she got to know us. I think this is just the beginning of us getting played.”

“Shit,” is all I can manage.

“We need to talk to our lawyer.”

“Ya think?” I reply sarcastically before getting up to put my coat on. Chris follows suit and is on the phone with our lawyer before we’re out of the restaurant. Chris quickly explains the situation to him and he is able to squeeze us in for a quick meeting. We give him a little more detailed story once we get there and he explains what we’re dealing with. Essentially, Lauren is probably trying to see if she can get money out of us. Her lack of real interest in Lukas was clear during our brunch, so money seems to be our best guess. Our lawyer advises us to keep them in the loop as to when our next meeting with her will be and gives us a set of specific questions that we need to get answered.

“She never struck me as a gold digger when we were together,” Chris says on the way back to Lisa’s house.

“I don’t know that gold digger is the right word, but I’m just as surprised as you are.” It’s quiet for a few minutes before I whisper, “You never told me she was gorgeous.”

“What?”

“I’m starting to think Lukas is as cute as he is because of her and not you. It’s clearly where he gets his blond hair from which explains why it hasn’t gotten darker yet. I thought he had your blue eyes but I think he has hers,” once I started I couldn’t seem to stop. All the insecurities I was feeling ran out of me like water.

“Laina, Elaina,” he said my name a few times before I finally stopped talking. He pulled the car over, even though we were still a few blocks away, and pulled me into an awkward hug over the center console. I hadn’t realized I was crying until I felt the wetness soak into his shirt. We stayed in that position until I calmed down.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been a long day,” I breathe against his chest and he kisses the top of my head.

“I know,” he lets go and we both relax back into our chairs. “I didn’t tell you about-” he starts but I cut him off.

“Chris, no really I don’t-”

“Laina listen, please.” he talks over me and I sigh but nod for him to continue. “I didn’t tell you what she looked like because I didn’t think it was important. After she left her looks didn’t mean anything. All I saw was the monster that left her baby and me with no explanation. I probably could have found a picture of her if I tried hard enough, but I guess maybe I was afraid of what just happened. I love that you see me in Lukas. All I used to see was her, but you used to point out things I never would have noticed and before long I didn’t see her anymore. I was being selfish. I wanted you to only see me in him, I didn’t want you to see her.”

My heart breaks at his admission. Of course he sees how much Lukas looks like her, of course he doesn’t want to be reminded of that all the time.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” I pull him into another uncomfortable hug and we share a kiss before leaning apart again. “Chris, I do see you in Lukas. You’re in the way he talks, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, you even walk the same. I’m sorry you have to go through this process of seeing her again and being reminded of all the pain she put you through. And I’m sorry for adding to that pain, but I’m not going to let that happen anymore. I’m here to share your burden not add to it, I just need you to share it with me.”

“I love you,” he whispers and kisses me again.


	6. Chapter 6

A lot has happened this year, which means we have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. We were blessed with Amira, Chris is directing again, I’m acting more, Lukas is doing great at his new school and is old enough to start trying sports. Not to mention we are all happy, healthy, and together. Sure, there have been a few bumps this year, but even so, we were looking forward to spending this holiday as a family.

Chris volunteered our house to host the Evans’ family gathering on Thanksgiving Day and then we’re traveling to my parent’s house for another celebration over the weekend. Even though I assured Lisa that I can handle the cooking, she insisted that she would come over to help. I won’t complain about having an extra pair of capable hands, especially since whenever Chris tries to help he usually just gets in the way.

The kids are up early, as always, and Lukas jumps in our bed to watch the parade. I fetch Mira from her room when I hear that she’s awake and we all snuggle together in bed before I really have to get up.

I reluctantly get out of bed when I get a message from Lisa saying she is on her way over. I hop in the shower while Chris takes the kids downstairs to get them breakfast. By the time I get downstairs Lukas as finished eating and Chris was wiping Amira’s hands and face. She smiles and starts making little chatter when she sees me and Chris laughs as he takes her out of the high chair.

“Momma has to cook today, you’re stuck with me baby,” he tells Amira before blowing a raspberry on her cheek. She squeals a laugh and grabs at his cheeks.

“Sorry Mira, looks like you’re stuck with that one today,” I kiss her cheek as I pass her and Chris and she keeps on chatting. Chris grabs my waist and plants a kiss on my lips before he smirks and leaves the kitchen. I can’t help but smile to myself as I start prepping the kitchen. I pull the turkey out of the fridge to make sure it’s fully defrosted when it’s time to stuff it. I start browning some sausage for the stuffing and I’m just mixing everything together when Lisa gets there.

“Oh, it smells good in here already!”

“I’m just finishing up the stuffing.”

Lisa nods and sets to work on her homemade dinner rolls. We prep everything we can for the dinner before we set to work on the pies. Almost everyone has a different favorite, but we’re able to narrow it down to 4 flavors, apple, cherry, pumpkin, and strawberry-rhubarb. These are the days I’m thankful I convinced Chris we needed a double oven. We’re able to have pies baking in the top oven while the turkey cooks longer in the bottom oven.

I’m just taking out the last pie when the rest of the family starts arriving. Shanna arrives first with her kids in tow. The house lights up with activity as the kids and Dodger start running through the house. Once Scott gets there Chris rallies up the older kids for a football game in the backyard. Amira gets laid down for a nap and Shanna and Carley join in on the work in the kitchen. With so many hands on deck, it isn’t long before the only thing left to do is wait for everything to cook. I crack open a bottle of wine to celebrate everyone’s hard work so far today and we all sit around the island chatting while the kids play outside.

Amira wakes up from her nap a little while before dinner is ready so I get her some things to snack on in the meantime. She gets passed along from person to person so everyone has a chance to get some little snuggles. Amira has yet to have any issues with new people, and she sees everyone in the family enough that she loves to hang out with everyone.

The uncles and kids come inside from the football game with enough time to clean up before the meal is served. I’m thankful for the snow we’ve gotten already this fall so the only thing they track in is a little water instead of mud. It’s sort of a mad rush to get the table set and get all the food to fit, but when we all sit down I know immediately that the little stress we went through was worth it. We go around the table and everyone says something they’re thankful for before we finally dig in. The conversation around the table stops for a bit while everyone enjoys their food, but before long the room gets louder with the buzz of conversation. There were a few close calls where the conversation almost turned to discussing the situation with Lauren, but since we haven’t told Lukas about her we do our best to redirect everyone’s attention. After everyone is thoroughly stuffed the kids go out to the living room with Scott to watch some holiday cartoons while everyone else helps clean up the meal.

“Is there a reason you won’t tell us what’s going on with Lauren?” Lisa asks me and Chris bluntly.

“Ma, no,” Chris assures her. “We don’t want to talk about it in front of Lukas. He doesn’t really know all the details right now. He’s too young to understand all the legal aspects of it.”

“So you haven’t told him that his Mom wants to see him?”

“I’m his Mom,” I say without hesitation and a little bit of hurt seeping into my voice.

“Elaina you know that’s not what I meant,” Lisa pulls me into a hug. “You’re his mom, yes, but she’s his mother and he should at least get to know that she wants to see him.”

“She doesn’t want to see him,” Chris pipes up.

“You’re sure?”

“She just wants money from us, Ma, that’s why she’s dragging this out so much. At this point, I’d be willing to just give her the money but she won’t admit that’s what she’s after.”

“So what if that’s not what she’s after? Maybe she really does want to be in his life again. You know I love you, Elaina, like my own daughters, but if Lauren is willing to be in his life and willing to try to be a good mother to him I don’t see why she should be denied that.” When Chris and I don’t make any move to speak she continues, "I’m just playing devils advocate okay? You don’t have to make any sort of decision right now, but maybe Lauren isn’t as evil as you guys are making her out to be.”

I give her a nod of understanding and go take over washing the last couple dishes. I notice Chris still talking to his mom in hushed voices for a while longer before they hug and Lisa heads out to the living room. Carley and Shanna pack up some leftovers to take home with them and I pack some up for Scott. Once that’s all done It’s just me and Chris left in the kitchen.

“That was some pretty heavy stuff for a holiday,” Chris says while pulling me into a hug.

“No kidding,” I sigh as I lean into him. “Do you think she’s right? Maybe Lauren isn’t as bad as we think she is?”

“I feel like we gave her the benefit of the doubt at our first meeting and she ruined it. There’s no reason we should be trusting her at this point. If she can somehow prove to be trustworthy again that’s another thing, but right now I can’t trust her.”

“I agree, and we can’t put Lukas in the position to get hurt by her. He’s not old enough,” I say and look up into Chris’ eyes

“I know,” he agrees before kissing me.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page. We should probably go join everyone else,” I say with a sigh when we break apart.

“Today was a good day, right?”

“It was, then it wasn’t, but it’s getting better,” I tell him with a smile.

“Yeah? What would make it perfect?”

“You and me and a quiet house in bed,” I trail off and start kissing up his jaw and under his ear.

“Okay there missy,” Chris chuckles. “How much wine have you had?”

I shrug and pick my glass up from the counter to take another drink.

“Hm no I think you’ve had enough,” Chris acts like he’s going to take my drink away but stops when I slap at his hand.

“Don’t even think about it,” I tell him with a glare, making him burst out a laugh.

“I think you need to be cut off,” he teases some more.

“And why’s that? I’m in my house, I’m surrounded by people I love, my husband is sober and he can handle the kids. Let Momma get a little tipsy, it’s not gonna hurt anyone,” I start fake slurring my words at the end, doing my best to keep a straight face. Chris quirks an eyebrow at me and I break into a fit of giggles. “Shut up, I’ve had like 2 glasses. I’m fine,” I assure him before kissing his lips and walking past him to the living room.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lauren agreed to meet us on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We were meeting her at 10 and then picking up the kids from Lisa’s house before driving to my parent’s house for the weekend. Chris and I are both less nervous this time around. We know what to expect and we’re prepared for the worst. I have the list of questions our lawyer wanted answered, as well as our own personal list.

This time when we get to the cafe Lauren is already waiting for us. She waves and flashes a smile at us. Her excitable personality puts me in a false state of ease and I smile back at her. Chris orders coffee for the both of us before we make our way to the table. I have a voice recorder in my pocket that I start as we take our seats.

“Hi! How are you two? Did you have a good holiday?”

“We’re good, the holiday was nice. How was yours?”

“Oh just perfect. I love being back in Boston, and it’s great being around at least some of my family again,” she makes eye contact with Chris with her last comment and I wonder if she means Lukas or her own extended family.

“I’m sure they’re glad you’re back after you dropped off the face of the earth,” Chris replies coolly. The tension in the air rises as Lauren throws a glare at Chris.

“I didn’t drop off the face of the earth. I’ve been traveling, working, living. It’s not my fault that our ideas of what life is didn’t match up.”

“You’re right, it’s not your fault. But you admitted yourself that the life that Elaina and I have, isn’t made for you. So please, just give up your rights to Lukas.”

“You didn’t let me finish. I said they didn’t match up, but that was the old me, the young me, and I’m ready to settle down. I’m ready to be with my family.”

“You can’t just suddenly make that choice!” Chris’ voice starts to rise and he takes a deep breath to contain his emotions before he continues. “You left him, Lauren, when he was a baby. He doesn’t even know you and at this point, I would like to keep it that way. He has two extremely loving parents. He doesn’t need someone who’s going to come in and out of his life whenever they like. He doesn’t need someone who’s going to ruin the trust and unquestioning love that he knows a family is supposed to have.”

“I’m his Mom, Chris,” Lauren says sharply.

“You may be his mother, but you gave up being his mom the moment you left.”

“That’s not fair. You knew I wasn’t ready to be a mother.”

“No, actually I didn’t know that. Sure Lukas wasn’t really planned, but I thought we were in the whole parenting thing together. I really thought you were the one Lauren, but sometimes things don’t work out the way we plan,” Chris touch Chris arm gently in an attempt to ground him. He takes my hand in his and holds it tightly.

“But we could still have that,” Lauren says before glancing at me. “I could still be in Lukas’ life.”

“What, so that you could leave again as soon as things get tough? I can’t do that to him, and I won’t allow you to.”

“Chris he’s my son,” her voice cracks with the words, and for the first time, she actually looks sorry for what she did all those years ago. “I didn’t mean to break his heart. I didn’t even really mean to leave. I was just going to go away for a long weekend. Try to clear my head. But it’s like as soon as I walked out of the house I felt free again. I wasn’t ready to be a mom, I don’t know if I’ll ever really be ready to be a mom. But Lukas is still my son and when I found out you were actually looking for me it felt like I was given a second chance to fix this terrible thing I had done. Please just let me fix it.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I forgot to post this on Monday! I'm so sorry! but it's here now and I hope you enjoy it!

The “hard no” resolve we had comfortably slid into crumbled away quicker than I’d like to admit. Lauren’s emotions finally seemed to match the regretful mother that I expected to begin with and my overly empathetic personality wanted to comfort her. Luckily Chris was somehow able to hold strong, even if only for a while.

“This isn’t something you can fix,” he told her with a firm, soft voice.

“Let me try,” Lauren insisted.

“How?” I interrupted before Chris could say no again.

“I’m not sure, but I’ll try anything. I just want to see him.”

“We have to think about it, weigh the pros and cons, and probably explain this whole situation to Lukas before we can give you an answer,” I tell Lauren before glancing at Chris to make sure he’s on board. He doesn’t look too happy about it, but he agrees nonetheless.

“That’s fine, take all the time you need. Well, not all the time, but I’m in the city through the new year.”

“We’ll get back to you, but we’re going out of town for the weekend and we really need to get going,” I look to Chris and he seems to come out of a sort of daze before nodding and standing up beside me.

“Right, it’s still kind of the holiday. Thank you for listening, Elaina,” She shakes my hand and I return it with a tight smile. “Chris,” she gives him an awkward nod and he returns it was an equally weird nod.

Getting back in the car we both breathe a small sigh of relief. One look at Chris tells me he isn’t ready to talk about what happened just yet so I keep quiet on the drive to pick up Lukas and Amira. I park in Lisa’s driveway and just as I’m about to open the door Chris finally speaks up.

“You surprised me back there.”

“I surprised myself,” I agree.

“I can’t believe you’d give her that false hope,” he says with a small chuckle.

“False hope? Chris, I was being serious. There was nothing false about it.”

“What?”

“Did you see how sincere she was? She knows she messed up, I’m not that heartless.”

“So you want to let her back into Lukas’ life, into our lives?” he asks me incredulously.

“I’m not saying that. I’m just saying, maybe she isn’t as heartless as we think. Maybe we need to be the bigger person and give her a chance.”

“Yeah, a chance to ruin our lives all over again,” he scoffs and I look at him in surprise.

“You are not acting like the Chris I know and love right now, so I think this conversation needs to be put on hold. I’m going to get the kids,” I tell him and punctuate my words with the closing of the car door behind me. I barely make it around the front of the car when Chris is hoping out to follow me. He takes my hand and spins me around to face him before I can get to the door.

“Elaina, I’m sorry, okay? It’s just a lot to take in. We went from being on exactly the same page to now, not, and it’s just taking me a bit to put everything together.”

“I know and that’s fine, but what you’re mom said, she’s right. This isn’t just about us. We need to think about what Lukas wants, and if Lauren has actually changed in the way she says, I don’t think it’s our place to block her out.”

“But it’s so hard to believe she’s changed,” he says in barely a whisper.

“It is,” I sigh. “But when she was talking, I just, I don’t know what it was, but I believed her. I want to believe her. Even if it means that our lives are going to get weird and crazy. If Lukas wants this, and Lauren is willing to try, I think we have to be supportive of that.”

He nods and takes a deep breath before pulling me into his chest. “How do we tell him?”

“I’m not sure,” I tell him honestly. “We can think about it, we shouldn’t do it on the holiday anyway.”

“Okay, we should probably get in there. Lukas is watching us through the window,” Chris tells me as he releases our hug. I turn around with a smile on my face and Lukas waves at me through the window, the look of concern melting off his face as Chris and I wave back.

“Do we get to go to Grandma and Grandpa Johar’s house now?” Lukas asks as soon as we’re in the door.

“We do! Are you excited?” I ask him and he nods and starts bouncing around the living room.

“How did it go?” Lisa asks us as she puts Amira in her car seat.

“It was, different,” I say vaguely.

“I’ll explain later,” Chris assures her.

“I’ll hold you to it,” she warns him playfully.

“I don’t doubt it,” he laughs.

“Explain what, Dad?” Lukas asks.

“It’s nothin’, buddy. Can you get your shoes on?” Chris quickly distracts him, earning a small look of disapproval from Lisa.

“We’re gonna tell him,” I tell Lisa, quietly, “soon.” She gives me a small smile and nods.

“Can we go now, Momma?” Lukas whines as soon as he gets his jacket on.

“Yes, let’s go.” We shuffle out the door, Lisa telling me when and what Amira ate on our way out. We set off as soon as everyone is buckled in, singing along to the Christmas carols on the radio.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Our second Thanksgiving is just as good as the first, even if it is a little different. Lukas always loves to hang out with my brother’s kids, and even though we’re not THAT far away, I know I always feel like we’re relying on Chris’ family more than my own. So it’s always good to spend time with my family again and for everyone to see Lukas and Mira. My brother, Xavier, and his wife, Alice, love to swap parenting stories with me and Chris. And my sister Jazz loves to take Amira off my hands to do everything with her from playing with her to feeding her, though she always hands her back when she needs a diaper change.

“What are you going to do when it’s your kid? You can’t pass them off then.”

“I’ll make my husband do it,” she shrugs as if it’s obvious.

“How would you feel about that, Chris?” I ask him and he looks like a deer in headlights, thinking it’s a trick question.

“Whatever you want, Honey,” he says in a jokingly sarcastic voice.

“That’s a no,” I stage whisper to Jazz and she laughs.

“I’ll just have to find a man that fits my needs,” she says confidently.

“Good luck with that,” I tell her and I hear Chris call a ‘hey’ from behind me. “I mean, there’s plenty of fine guys out there, you just need to find yours,” I tell her in a mechanic sounding voice. 

“How are you an actor, again?” Jazz asks and I gasp with feign offense.

“That’s fair.” I shrug, “It’s probably just because I have a famous husband.” Jazz laughs loudly at that and Chris shakes his head to deny it but his laughter makes it hard to believe.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After dinner, we watch Addams Family Values and most of the kids fall asleep as their full bellies and a day full of playing take their toll. Lukas is draped across mine and Chris’ lap. Meanwhile, Amira is more awake than ever and is bouncing on Jazz’s lap. After the movie is over and the kids wake up from their slumber, we move back to the dining room for pie and gulab jamun. Everyone says and chats for a little while longer before Xavier and Alice head home with their kids and Jazz packs up leftovers and goes back to her apartment. We’re all meeting for brunch tomorrow so Chris and I decided to just spend the night at my parent’s house.

Chris sets up Amira’s pack ‘n play in the guest bedroom where she and Lukas will be sleeping while Chris and I crash in my childhood bedroom. I give Amira a bottle while Chris helps Lukas go through his nightly routine. Having both kids in one room makes bedtime both easier and harder. It’s nice that Chris and I don’t have to go between two rooms, but we usually just lay Amira down with her snuggle blanket and pacifier and close the door and she goes to sleep on her own. Lukas’ routine is a bit more of a production with reading and retucking his blankets at least 3 times before he claims it to be sufficient. Luckily his nap earlier didn’t seem to completely ruin his sleep schedule and Lukas fell asleep part way through the book he brought along. Amira was tired too, having only napped in the car on the way here, and she barely fussed when I laid her down before falling asleep.

“Do you know what my favorite part of sleeping at your parent’s house is?” Chris asked once we were tucked into our own bed.

“What?” I ask, resting my chin on his chest to look at him.

“Sleeping in your childhood bedroom.”

“Why?” I ask with a laugh.

“It’s like mine. Ya know, it’s changed a little, fewer posters and things like that, but I still get a sense of what kind of teenager you were.”

“Oh yeah? and what kind of teenager was I?”

“Hm,” he looks around the room while he thinks. “You were definitely a goodie goodie.”

“Who me? No, no, I was a badass as a teenager?”

“Oh? please enlighten me,” he tempts with a smirk.

“Well, like you said, I don’t have all the posters I used to have, but that wall,” I point to the largest full wall in my room, “was covered completely in band and celebrity posters”

“Did you have a young Leo?” Chris asks.

“Maybe,” I blush and Chris bursts out laughing.

“You didn’t!”

“I did,” I grimace. “He was such a cutie! How could I not?”

“I’m surprised your dad let you.”

“Oh, he didn’t know.”

“What? How could he not know?

"I put it behind my door, and he was never in here with the door closed so he didn’t know.”

“Oh gahd,” he laughs hard, grabbing at his chest. “Maybe you weren’t such a goodie goodie.”

“It was just a front, it kept Baba happy, but I was just like any other teenage girl. Just a little rebellious.”

“How rebellious?” Chris asks, his eyes getting darker.

“Depended on the day,” I shrug.

“I’m not sure I buy it.”

“You can believe whatever you want to,” I assure him before pecking his lips.

“How rebellious are you now?”

“Probably not rebellious enough for whatever you have in mind,” I tell him honestly.

“Babe,” he whines, drawing out the word.

“Stop your whining. I think we’re plenty rebellious enough at home when we only have the kids to worry about, now you want to add my parents into the mix?” he gives me a shrug and a smirk in response. “I don’t think so.”

“Just a little?”

“What does that even mean?” I ask with a laugh.

“Like this much,” he holds up his hands so their a few inches apart.

“Babe, I hate to break it to you, but that’s all of it,” I deadpan, earning me a slap on the butt before he rolls us over so he’s hovering over me with my hands pinned beside my head.

“Take it back,” he tells me sternly, but all I can do is laugh. “Elaina Arya if you don’t take it back right now I’ll,”

“You’ll what?” I interrupt him. That’s all it takes for him to start tickling my sides hard. I can’t help the squeal that escapes my lips at the unexpected attack.

“Chris,” I whine while trying to get away from his hands. “Chris stop, you’re gonna wake up the kids.”

“You’re gonna wake up the kids, I’m not the one making all the noise.” He tells me while he continues running his fingers over my stomach and sides.

“Stop it!” I slap at his hands but he doesn’t so much as slow down. “Okay, okay I take it back.” I relent and his hands stop.

“Take what back?” he squints at me.

“You’re way bigger than what I said,” I tell him while trying to catch my breath. “You’re so big.”

“That’s what I thought,” he says smugly and flops back down next to me. “And you’re going to be reminded of just how big when we get home.”


	8. Chapter 8

“How are we supposed to tell him? He’s so happy and oblivious,” Chris sighs while sliding under the covers. We’re back home after a full weekend of traveling and visiting family. We agreed that we wouldn’t put off telling Lukas any longer than we had to, but now, being faced with the task is more daunting than I anticipated.

“He still deserves to know.”

“I’m not disagreeing with that, but how do you start that conversation? Like, ‘hey buddy, remember when we talked about how your mom left and now you have a new mom. Well, guess what, your birth mom wants to come back in your life now and we’ve been meeting with her without telling you.’”

“Maybe a little more delicately than that,” I suggest with a smile, trying to ease the tension. “We just need to be honest. Lukas is a smart kid, he’ll understand.”

“Honestly is only the best policy if it’s honestly from the beginning,” he says coldly.

“Okay,” I sigh before turning off my lamp and sliding down the bed to lay down. Chris turns off his own light and follows suit. I roll onto my side, my back to him, but he’s quick to pull me against his chest. He presses kisses starting behind my ear and following a line down my neck until my shirt gets in the way. “What are you doing?” I mumble when he starts back up my neck.

“Apologizing,” he mutters.

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” I laugh. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Maybe you should be,” he says it in such a way that I feel the words more than I hear them, but they pull at my heart just as much as if I had heard them clear as day. I turn in his arms to face him. I move my hands to cup his face in the darkness and work to make out his features.

“Don’t say that, please. This isn’t something either of expected, but we’re going to face it together.”

“But my comments aren’t helping the situation.”

“Maybe not,” I smile gently at him, “ but I know that they’re just ’cause you’re stressed.”

“You don’t need to keep making excuses for me.”

“I’m not,” I assure him. “But I know this isn’t you and that we’re going to figure it out.”

He rests his forehead against mine before I close to gap and kiss him. Our actions remain innocent until we’re both tired enough to sleep without imposing thoughts of what tomorrow will hold. When I do fall asleep, I’m held tight in Chris’ arms and I don’t stir a bit until morning.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Ready?” I ask Chris before we leave to go pick up Lukas from school. We decided to take him to his favorite restaurant so that he would at least be in a good mood when we started the conversation. We left Amira with Lisa so that all our attention would be on Lukas, but that also meant he knew something was up as soon as he got in the car.

“Where’s Mira?”

“Grandma Lisa wanted to watch her, so we thought you’d like to get out to eat,” Chris tells him.

“On a Monday?” Lukas questions.

“Yeah, doesn’t that sound fun?” I try, but Lukas doesn’t give.

“Why?”

“We have some stuff we need to talk about,” Chris tells him.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No!” Chris and I say in unison.

“You’re not in trouble,” I continue before Chris continues for me.

“We just thought it would be nice to talk over some french fries, okay?”

“Okay,” Lukas shrugs but the crease between his eyebrows doesn’t disappear. We get an order of fries to split and let Lukas pick a juice from the soda machine. Once we’re situated at our table Lukas doesn’t waste any time.

“What do you have to tell me?”

“Oh, we’re just jumping right in? Don’t you want some fries first?” Chris uses his teasing to stall. Lukas eats a fry to make a point and then waits for Chris to continue.

“Okay,” Chris sighs. “Do you remember your mom much?”

Lukas shrugs and eats another fry. “Not really. I remember when you had pictures of her in our old home, but then you said she wasn’t coming back so we took them all down.”

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Chris tells him and Lukas shrugs again.

“It’s okay. I have a new mom now and she actually loves me.”

“You got that right,” I smile at him and reach over the table to ruffle his hair.

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?” Lukas asks.

“Not exactly,” I start. “Lukas right now you’re my son in my heart, but not according to the government. Does that make sense?”

“Kinda.”

“So your dad and I wanted to change that. I wanted to adopt you.”

“Really?” Lukas asks excitedly. “What would that change?”

“It wouldn’t change much, but the way it is right now, if something were to happen to your dad, then I wouldn’t necessarily have any control over what happens to you.”

“Who would?”

“Well, that depends. It might go to Grandma Lisa, which would be great, but before that, they would try to talk to your mom.”

“But she left, she wouldn’t take me anyways.”

“Don’t say that,” Chris tells him.

“It’s the truth,” Lukas insists.

“The thing is, we don’t know that, and I don’t want you to be taken away from me,” I continue.

“So if you adopted me that wouldn’t happen? Can we do it today?” Lukas asks, making me and Chris laugh.

“It’s not quite that simple,” Chris tells him. “We’ve been trying to figure it out for a while now.”

“Why isn’t it done yet?”

“Because we had to get your mom to give up her rights to you first.”

“But Dad said he didn’t know where she was. How could you ask her?”

“Well, we found some of her old friends and they were able to track her down,” I tell him.

“Really? You found my mom?” Lukas asks and I can’t tell if his voice is hopeful or just sad.

“We did,” Chris tells him simply.

“Can I meet her?” Lukas asks and our question is answered before we even asked it.

“You want to meet her?” Chris asks him and Lukas nods slowly.

“Does she want to meet me?” Lukas asks after thinking for a bit.

“We weren’t sure at first, but she said she does,” I tell him.

“But I thought she didn’t want me?”

“It’s not that she didn’t want you,” Chris says. “She just wasn’t ready to be a mom, and it scared her.”

“I was just a baby. Mira’s not scary.”

“I know, but some people aren’t meant to have kids. But if you want to meet her, she’s ready to try again with you,” I tell him gently.

“I don’t want her to be my mom. I don’t even know her.” Lukas says bluntly.

“She’s not your mom, I am,” I assure him. “She just wants to meet you. I think she wants to apologize for leaving.”

Lukas is silent for a long time, and I can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure out what he wants to do. I squeeze Chris’ hand under the table and he gives me a little smile.

“You don’t have to decide right now,” Chris says. “Do you want to think about it for a little while?” Lukas nods before eating a couple more fries. We switch to a more casual topic of school and friends while we finish the rest of our fries. Lukas is still thinking about it when we pick up Amira from Lisa’s house and he’s unusually quite right up until he goes to bed. Chris is still anxious about what he’s going to decide, but I feel better that we made this decision to tell him and let him decide.

It isn’t until a couple days later that Lukas makes his final decision. I’m picking him up from school while Chris is home with Amira. As soon as he gets in the car he starts chatting about what he did at school today. Though it isn’t until we’re home that he tells us the really big news. Once he’s in the house and has taken his shoes and coat off in the mudroom he runs through the house to find Chris. He jumps on the couch next to Chris and repeats what he told me about his day to Chris while smiling at Amira. Once he’s done with his story he sits on the floor with Mira and is driving cars in front of her while she chews on her teether.

“I want to meet my mom,” Lukas says offhandedly to no one in particular.

“What?” Chris asks.

“I want to meet my mom,” he repeats more clearly. I can’t read Chris’ expression, but he can’t seem to get out a response.

“Okay, we’ll work out a time to see her,” I tell Lukas and he smiles at me before going back to playing with Mira.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was surprisingly easy to set up a day with Lauren once Lukas made his decision. Her eagerness helped confirm that this was the right choice and she was truly interested in being in his life again. We laid down some ground rooms for the meeting and eventually decided to meet at a restaurant for lunch over the weekend. We dropped Amira at Carley’s house on the way there and we still arrived a little early. Lukas was quiet all morning, but he was constantly shaking his leg or tapping his fingers. Chris and I kept trying to distract him and help him calm down, but everything we tried only worked for a couple minutes. Lukas was sitting in between me and Chris in a large round booth and we were trying to keep him talking about different things while he colored his coloring page so he didn’t get too worried before Lauren arrived. I saw her walk in the door and was able to catch Chris’ eye to warn him. Chris straightened up a little and put on his game face. Lukas noticed Chris’ change and looked up from his coloring page to glance between the two of us. It was only a couple seconds before Lauren was directed to our table and slide into the booth across from us.

“I’m sorry I’m late, and here I thought I could make a good first impression,” Lauren said.

“That’s alright,” I assure her and look to Lukas.

“Lukas,” Chris says. “This is Lauren, your mom.”


	9. Chapter 9

I couldn’t read Lukas’ reaction at first. He seemed to sort of shut down at first. He was always a little shy around new people, but this seemed to be something more. Chris and I kept trying to keep the conversation up, hoping the something would strike his interest enough to get him talking, but it started to seem like he was never going to give more than a one-word answer and I started to worry we made the wrong decision by letting him choose this.

I wasn’t sure if Lauren noticed how nervous I had gotten, or if she really needed to use the restroom, but when she excused herself I practically sighed in relief. As soon as she was out of earshot I turned towards Lukas.

“What’s going on, buddy?” I asked him gently.

“I don’t know. I thought she would be different,” Lukas shrugged.

“Different how?”

“Just different,” he paused, “maybe not so pretty.” This answer shocked me and I was left sputtering, unsure how to respond. “I imagined her being this mean, ugly lady, but she’s pretty and nice. I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get?” Chris asked him.

“I don’t get why she left. Nice ladies shouldn’t leave their babies.”

“Maybe you should ask her,” I suggested. “She could probably explain it better than we could.”

Lukas contemplated the idea over some of his lunch while we waited for Lauren to return. She comes back, just as cheerful as before.

“Sorry about that, did I miss anything?”

“Not really, but I think Lukas might have something he wants to ask you,” Chris said and looked to Lukas. Lukas crinkled his nose at Chris and finished chewing his food before reluctantly looking at Lauren.

“I just wanna know why you left. I mean, part of me is happy you did because now I have Lainie and Mira and Daddy’s really happy, but I don’t get why you didn’t want me.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want you. I wasn’t ready to be a mom, I’m not sure I’ll ever really be ready to be a mom. There’s this thing called postpartum depression and I’m pretty sure I had it when I had you. So, those motherly instincts you saw with Elaina and your sister, those didn’t happen with me. There was a part of my brain that didn’t put together the fact that you were mine and I had to take care of you.”

“But didn’t you love me? Didn’t you love daddy?” Lukas asked and I noticed Chris rubbing his back, trying to calm him down.

“I did love your father, once, but it was different,” Lauren paused and took a deep breath. “Listen, Lukas, I know that I made a mistake in how I left and maybe in leaving at all, but right now I think I want to try again. I know I can’t be a mother to you, you have Elaina and I’m so happy for you, but I still want to be a part of your life. I can be like, your cool aunt that you get to see sometimes. Does that sound okay to you?”

Lukas nods slowly before responding, “Does that mean I should call you Aunty Lauren?”

“Let’s try just Lauren,” she replies with a smile.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lukas seemed happy with how our little meeting went. He told his grandma Lisa all about it, though he conveniently left out his lack of conversation for the most of our lunch, we let him have it. I know Chris wasn’t terribly excited about the idea of having Lauren back in his life permanently, but if it made Lukas happy then he was willing to do anything.

Once Lukas and Mira were in bed Chris and I had some time to discuss how we were going to deal with this situation. Lauren had agreed to give up her rights, she was meeting with our lawyer on Monday to sign the papers and then Chris and I only had a few more hoops to jump through to finish the adoption. However, she agreed to give up her rights with the promise that she would be able to see Lukas whenever she wanted, within reason.

“Even at this point, I can’t honestly say I trust her,” Chris said.

“Me neither.”

“The ‘cool aunt’ thing she’s trying to do is fine, but if one of our siblings actually acted like her I don’t think either of us would be willing to let our kids go with her anywhere.”

“I agree, but how do we explain that to her? She’s just going to get defensive and we can’t risk her changing her mind about giving up her rights,” I remind him.

“Well, we agreed that them seeing each other had to be within reason so we just need to write down specifically what within reason means.”

“That could work. So what does it mean?”

“Well, one of us needs to be present, at least to start with. When Lukas is old enough to be alone with her, they can’t go outside of Boston. She needs to let us know she when she wants to see him at least 3 days in advance, but preferably a week notice,” Chris paused, typing a note of the list in his phone.

“We should probably make an agreement about holidays, right?

"Probably, how do I say, 'you can’t have him on holidays’?” Chris asked with a slightly teasing smile.

“I don’t think we can say that. We can say that all holidays are spent with us, but she can join us if she so desires.”

“Oh great, her and my family, that’ll just be fantastic,” Chris groaned.

“I’m sorry, baby, but we need to compromise in some places.”

“I know, and it will be fine in the long run, right?”

“It’s going to be perfect in the long run,” I assured him with a kiss. “It’s probably going to be hard and awkward at first, but if this is what is going to make Lukas happy and convince Lauren to give up her rights, then it’s what we have to do.”

“I’ll email this list to our lawyer and ask him if we should add anything else before she signs and he’ll go over it with her on Monday.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Our lawyer had a couple additions to our list that Chris and I wouldn’t have thought of, thankfully he was willing to work with us on a Sunday to get everything straightened out before his meeting with Lauren on Monday. He assured us that there was no reason for us to come down to the meeting and he would update us as soon as the meeting was over.

Once everything was figured out, Chris and I spent Sunday playing and relaxing with the kids. Now that Lukas has met Lauren for himself its feet like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and it was so nice to not have to jump around conversations with him anymore. Lukas told me many times throughout the day that he can’t wait until I’m legally his mom and that we should have a party to celebrate.

Chris still had some miscellaneous work to finish up for the movie, so he was in and out of the living room, sometimes taking phone calls, sometimes sending emails. Even with the distractions, every time he walked through the living room he either got caught up in some little game with Lukas or picks up Mira to place a loud kiss on her chubby cheeks. He was able to disconnect from the producers and editors late in the afternoon so that he could help with dinner and bedtime. Lukas was chatty as ever, convinced that he wasn’t tired enough to sleep yet, but Chris had barely gotten through a couple pages of their current book when Lukas’ breathing evened out and he was fast asleep.

Mira, on the other hand, took a little convincing. I gave her her nightly bottle before Chris took over and read her a little nursery rhyme book. She spent most of the time he was reading trying to turn around and play with his beard, but near the end, she finally settled down a little and her eyes got a little droopy. Though, as soon as Chris stood up to put her in her crib she seemed wide awake once again. We each gave her a kiss and said goodnight to her before laying her in the crib and giving her her pacifier and blanket. She didn’t move as we turned off the light and walked down the hallway, but by the time we got to our room I heard a couple little whines coming from her room. I winced and Chris turned around to go back, but I stopped him before he got out of the door.

“Just give her a minute, she needs to get better at falling asleep on her own,” I whispered and he nodded his agreement before heading to our ensuite.

I joined him there and we brushed our teeth side by side. Chris bumped my hip with his and I gave him a playful glare.

“What was that for?” I asked around my toothbrush.

“Nothin‘“ he shrugged and smiled at me. “I’m just happy.”

“And happy means I deserve a hip bump?” I asked after I rinse out my toothpaste.

Chris followed suit and I had to wait a bit for a response, only to get an unsatisfactory, “yup.”

I stepped closer to him so we’re chest to chest and wrapped my arms around his neck before reaching up to meet him in a kiss.

“I’m happy you’re happy.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Our morning went according to normal school day routine and we were out the door to take Lukas to school right on time. Chris decided to tag along for the ride today since he had some free time from working overtime on the weekend. Plus, Lauren’s meeting with our Lawyer was supposed to be starting in a few minutes, so I think we were both a little tense and didn’t want to be alone.

After dropping Lukas off we wasted some time getting coffee and going to the store to get Amira some bigger clothes since she had almost outgrown all of hers. When we get back in the car Chris pulled out his phone to see he missed a call from our lawyer. He listened to the message on speakerphone, but the only information we got was that we needed to call him back. We waited to call until we got home and unpacked Mira’s clothes and fed her lunch. Once she was content and playing with some toys in the living room Chris called him back.

“Hey, Chris, I’m glad you called me back,” he answered.

“Of course, what’s up?”

“Is Elaina with you?” he checked before proceeding.

“Yup, I got ya on speakerphone.”

“Oh good. So listen, the meeting with Lauren was strange.”

“Oh no,” I sighed.

“So I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?”

“Bad,” Chris and I said at the same time.

“She didn’t sign the terms of agreement for seeing Lukas.”

“Great,” Chris said sarcastically. “What’s the good news?”

“She did sign the agreement to give up her rights and allow you to adopt Lukas.”

“She did?” I asked. “Then why didn’t she sign the agreement?”

“I can’t say for sure. She just said that it wouldn’t be necessary. I’m sorry for all the confusion, but in the end, we got what we needed, right? I can try to get in contact with her again if you guys have any questions.”

“No, that’s alright. We’ll talk to her. Thank you for all your help in this,” Chris said before hanging up.

“What does that mean, why won’t it be necessary? Does she think she can just see him whenever and wherever she wants?” I asked Chris.

“I think we need to talk to her.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it guys! please let me know what you think :)

It seemed like ages before we heard from Lauren. How she managed to go off the grid so quickly is beyond me, but it appeared to be her specialty. We weren’t sure what to tell Lukas, but we told him the truth. He took it hard.

“She’s gone?”

“We don’t know that yet, I think she just got nervous and she’ll come back,” Chris tried to assure him.

“But I thought she was going to be like my aunt now. I thought she wanted to stay,” Lukas started to cry and Chris and I pulled him into a hug together. He cried for a long time, and there was nothing we could say to help him understand since we didn’t understand ourselves.

“At least she signed the papers so I can adopt you,” I told him and brushed his hair back.

“She did?” He asked, surprised, and a little smile peaked through.

“She did, you’re really going to be mine.” He leaned over so he could wrap his little arms around my neck and I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I know this is hard, buddy, but you still have two parents who love you unconditionally. Not to mention your grandparents and all your aunts and uncles, we all love you so much. Lauren leaving has nothing to do with you.”

We stayed cuddled together on the couch for a long time while Lukas worked through his emotions. When Chris got Amira up from her nap all Lukas wanted to do was cuddle with her, but he settled with sitting by her on the floor while she played.

After that day there wasn’t any more talk of Lauren with Lukas. Chris and I were still trying to find her and our lawyer was doing everything he could. We even went so far as to contact her parents, but they refused to talk to us. It wasn’t until Christmas that we finally got the full story.

It was the first year we decided to do our own little Christmas morning at home before going to Lisa’s house to celebrate with the whole family. Lukas got up at the crack of dawn, actually, he got up before dawn, but we made him go back to sleep the first time he tried to wake us up. We finally agreed to get up with him a little after 6am, but we let Mira sleep longer. Lukas was about halfway through opening his gifts, since he had to play with each one before he can open the next one, when Amira woke up. Since it was her first Christmas it was her first experience opening gifts and she wasn’t too sure about it. Chris sat her on his lap and would open the paper a little and try to get her to grab it and rip the rest of the way, but she didn’t seem to enjoy it near as much as Lukas did. Lukas took it upon himself to open some of her toys for her and once they were open she was very interested, especially in any of them that lit up or made noise.

Lukas was playing with the most recent gift he opened and Chris was helping Mira unwrap a book when the doorbell rang. I got up to get it, expected to see Scott or Carley surprising us with a visit, but instead when I opened the door all that was there was a letter. I picked it up to find Lukas’ name written largely across the front in beautiful cursive. I took it back into the living room with me, trying to figure out what it was.

“Who was at the door?” Chris asked me when I come back in. He looked curiously at the letter, but his smile didn’t falter.

“There wasn’t anyone there, they must have just left this,” I passed it to Chris and he set Mira down beside him to look at it.

“Lukas, it’s for you,” Chris told him and Lukas hopped over to see it.

“Is it from Santa?” He asked hopefully.

“I guess you’ll have to open it and find out,” Chris laughed and handed it over to him. He ripped the envelope open to find a letter inside.

“Can you read it to us?” I asked him but he shook his head and handed it to me. I sat him on the couch next to me so he could see the letter while I read it before I looked at it for myself. The beautiful cursive script continued the whole length of the letter, explaining why Lukas couldn’t read it himself, and my breath hitched when I noticed Lauren signature at the bottom.

“It’s from Lauren,” I told Lukas, catching Chris’ attention too. “It says, ‘Dear Lukas, I don’t think you will ever understand how much I truly love you. I’m sorry that I can’t show you that love in a way you would understand, but right now I believe that leaving your family is the best thing for me to do. I’m sorry that I put you through this heartache twice in your short life, and I really hope no one ever puts you in this situation again. I realized that part of why I wanted so badly to be back in your life, was simply because I was jealous. It’s an ugly emotion and I hope you don’t take after me in that area. I was jealous of what your mom and dad have, of what Chris and Elaina have. I thought if I came back into your life I would somehow get that kind of love again. It was a mistake, and I’m sorry that you were the one to get hurt because of it. I agreed to fully give up my rights over you because I believe that Elaina is the best mom you could ask for. You don’t need someone like me around to make everything harder for you and your family. Someday, when you’re older, if you want to find me I will make it possible and we can try again with that cool aunt thing. You need to know that this isn’t your fault, it was never your fault, and I don’t want you to blame yourself for my leaving. I hope you can forgive me one day. I love you, Lauren.’”

I tried to keep my own emotions under control while I was reading, but when I looked at Chris and Lukas I noticed both of them tearing up. I pulled Lukas into my side for a hug and Chris rubbed his back.

“I know this is probably hard to understand right now, but now we know why she only signed half the papers and why she disappeared again.” Chris said. Lukas nodded and wiped away his tears.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now, okay?” I told him and he slid off the couch to go back to his toys. Chris moved over so he was next to me on the couch and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“It was so sweet,” I told him as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“I’m glad she explained this time. Leaving without any sort of explanation is part of what made the first time so hard.”

“I feel like it all makes sense now. Her trying to get close to us only to run away again. Even though I wish she would’ve realized her true intentions before we brought Lukas into it all, I’m glad she realized before she signed all the papers.”

“I guess maybe she isn’t completely evil,” Chris laughed.

“Not completely,” I agree and lean up to kiss him.   
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lukas seemed to forget about the letter once we got to Lisa’s house and he had more gifts to open as well as all his cousins to play with. Chris quietly showed it to his mom and siblings and they all gave us their thoughts on it. Everyone agreed that it was a sort of bittersweet thing to do, but they also all agreed that they were glad she wasn’t actually going to be a permanent part of our lives now.

“I’m sorry I pressured you into telling Lukas,” Lisa told me and Chris later.

“No, you don’t need to be sorry,” I assured her and Chris hooked his arm over her shoulder in a sort of half hug.

“Really, Ma, even though it didn’t all go as smoothly as we wish it had, I’m glad that Lukas got to see her once.”

“He deserves to know her, and it was unfair of us to have kept them apart the way we did. This bittersweet ending is better than everything I kept imagining would happen.”

“There was really no perfect ending that was possible. I’m glad you put in your two cents, even if it was probably more like a dollar,” Chris adds, earning his a slap on the arm from Lisa. “Really Ma, we appreciate it,” Chris insists and I nod along.

“You two are too good to me,” Lisa sighs and I notice the tears rimming her eyes before she pulls us both into a hug.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a long year, probably the most eventful year since we got married. Amira was born, Chris got a great movie to direct, I got a great movie to act in (not to mention a smokin’ hot director), Lukas got to meet his mom, I got to adopt Lukas. Even with all of that, seeing Lukas and Mira passed out together under the Christmas tree brings everything back down to earth. It reminds me why we went through all the stress and the struggle to get where we are today.

Chris joins me on the couch, passing me a mug of hot chocolate as I lean into his side.

“It was a long day,” he notes as he looks at Lukas and Mira’s sleeping forms.

“Christmas is always a long day, but it’s also a good day so I can’t complain.” Chris smiles back at me and I look back at the kids before he presses a kiss to my temple.

“Every day that I get to spend with you and both of them is the best day of my life,” Chris whispers as he leans his head against mine.

“I couldn’t agree more.”


End file.
